Dissociative Identity Disorder and SSA

Dr. Maggie Bell is an Australian composer of music, who experienced sexual, physical and emotional abuse by her brother for 17 years, from the ages of 5 to 22 years. For Maggie, the prolonged severe abuse she endured resulted in Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), in which different memories, reactions and feelings were isolated into separate parts of her personality. Her doctoral thesis project was a series of musical works, composed by her parts, either separately or in collaboration.

Listen to Maggie's music here: www.maggiesmusic.com.au

Learn more or follow Maggie via her LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/maggiesmusicdid

Hello, I’d like to talk about incest!

Did you notice what just happened? How you may have tensed your back a little, squirmed in your seat.

Very few people want to think about any type of incest, let alone sibling sexual abuse. It’s taboo, something so painful it might make you… crazy…

Well, I’m not so crazy, but I am wounded.

My own wounding resulted in over 60 dissociative identities or multiple personalities, as a result of prolonged severe incest and abuse from the age of 5 to 22.

Being a victim of incest and having a highly misunderstood diagnosis are both deeply steeped in shame and stigma. I want to break the conspiracy of silence that has surrounded my own and other victim-survivors lives.

Dissociative responses to trauma are common, especially in young children and in overwhelming and prolonged traumatic situations. Usually they take the form of “leave-taking”, a way to distance oneself from the reality of what is happening, such as floating above your body; time distortion (slower or faster); feelings of unreality (depersonalisation and derealisation); and amnesia. These are highly protective coping mechanisms to help at the moment of overwhelming trauma.

When ongoing, severe, repetitive trauma occurs during childhood development at the time a cohesive sense of self is usually forming (before the age of nine), these repetitive dissociative experiences can become states-of-being that fail to integrate. Instead, they become isolated self-states with their own sense of identity, memory, feelings and behaviours. Although these dissociative identities help a person cope, if they cause impairment or distress in at least one area of functioning (school, work, relationships, self care etc), the condition of Dissociative Identity Disorder can be diagnosed.

Prior to my doctoral thesis, I had not publicly disclosed my diagnosis and its cause. I have now been able to do that through composing music. This artistic research involved 14 new musical compositions, with a written explanation to go with each. To my knowledge, this is the first time a dissociative identity system has published an investigation into how different parts feel and relate to each other, communicated through musical composition.

Some pieces were composed by small groups of the previously scattered voices, or parts, who held different aspects of certain themes, such as suppressed rage, while other pieces reflected the struggles of daily life and were created by nearly all parts, each composing the

sections relevant to them.

Through that process I came to identify, know and accept my dissociative identities better than I ever had before, and my parts came to know and accept each other and work together collaboratively. That has been a game-changer for me. And breaking my silence about what happened to me and how it has affected my life has also been a game-changer. I realised how soul-destroying being silent about your own truth can be. And I stopped being ashamed. 

Your takeaway from this might be about this weird multiple personality music composer. Having multiple personalities brings to mind TV series and movies of dramatic switches and serial killers. Actually, most of us are just people you would never notice, carrying our wounds in hidden silence. 

I hope that by hearing a bit of my experience of living with DID, you will have more understanding and be able to talk about it in open conversations, which in turn helps to reduce stigma and shame. Maybe you can personally relate to this description of DID, within yourself or in someone close to you.

I hope you will also remember that there are many victims of incest and many sufferers of Dissociative Identities, who have not yet found a voice and can be hidden in plain sight. Learning more about DID might help you understand yourself or those around you. https://www.aninfinitemind.org/ would be a great place to start.

Crisis Centers in Crisis

No More's global directory of local centers servicing survivors of sexual violence is a key resource for those affected by sibling sexual abuse.

At 5WAVES, our all-volunteer team keeps abreast of current research and resources related to sibling sexual trauma and abuse, creates content for education, awareness, and prevention, provides peer support, and collaborates on research. Through our websites, social media presence, and responses to those who contact us by email, we direct thousands of people each year to local services for crisis support, healing services, and legal advocacy. But what happens if those services are not available? What if the helpline is closed, no advocate to help survivors through the court system, no counseling available to those who lack insurance coverage? If the helpline is only open two days a week or if emergency counselors have a 6-month waiting list, can that even be called crisis support?

The No More Global Directory is a worldwide listing of sexual and domestic violence service providers.  5WAVES features it at the top of each page on siblingsexualtrauma.com, and it is linked in the auto-reply that goes to all who fill out our contact form. We know how crucial it is to have human interaction and individual support, from people who are familiar with local resources, cultural practices, and legal landscapes, when facing the wide-ranging trauma that follows sibling sexual harm and abuse. We also realize that many individuals and families who contact us are also facing other types of domestic and sexual violence, both within and outside the family. 

As an organization in daily contact with service providers in the US and worldwide, the No More Foundation conducted an emergency survey in April 2025 to call attention to a funding crisis facing virtually all of the organizations in their network. The full report from this survey was just released. 

Although the needs of those facing domestic and sexual violence have always surpassed available services, actions taken by the US federal government in 2025 have precipitated a near-universal crisis for organizations addressing sexual and domestic violence. These will have an alarming impact on many survivors and family members in the sibling sexual trauma and abuse community. 

Here are a few examples from the No More report:

• 80% of providers in the No More network have already had their services disrupted.

• 65% of organizations have or will be cutting staff positions.

• In 2025 alone, an estimated 45,000 years of work experience in the domestic and sexual violence sector will be lost due to staff reductions (based on extrapolations of survey data). Staff who remain are at extreme risk for burnout and secondary trauma. 

• 61% of those providing direct services to children have had to reduce their hours or services.

• With less than 10% of all nonprofit revenue coming from individual and foundation donations, the capacity simply does not exist for the private sector to make up for loss of government funding. 

5WAVES, Inc. is not a political or partisan institution. We know that people of every political persuasion live in the shadow of sibling sexual abuse, trauma, and harm, and we are committed to keeping our services welcoming for all. We share this report, not to cast blame for what has been done in the past, but to raise awareness of an emerging crisis that will affect many within our community. This includes children who are currently facing sibling sexual harm and abuse. We respect our readers’ ability to choose their own response to this information, based on their own ability, beliefs, and conscience. 

What impact might this funding crisis have on 5WAVES as an organization? We have neither received nor sought any governmental funding thus far. Our services have all been provided by volunteers with a deep commitment borne of lived experience of sibling sexual trauma, and this is not in jeopardy. However, competition for the limited grant money available is increasing steeply, leaving emerging organizations like 5WAVES with very few options to expand our services. With professional support and counseling services likely to be cut, those facing sibling sexual trauma will be leaning even more heavily on the peer support and reliable online information that 5WAVES provides, free of charge. 

Although 5WAVES has not received any government funding that will be cut, we rely almost exclusively on the donations of those who value the information and support we provide to cover our expenses. We welcome one-time or recurring donations, in any amount, via PayPal. We also encourage readers to check in with their local domestic and/or sexual assault crisis center. We suggest asking how they are faring, learning how you might help. Then let them know that 5WAVES exists and we can help their clients facing sibling sexual trauma and abuse. 

The Invisible Support: A Partner’s Journey with Survivorship

This blog is grounded in my lived experience of being in a long-term, heterosexual relationship. Troy and I have been married for 39 years, and this piece reflects the journey we have navigated together. It is not written with the intention to exclude anyone. No two survivor journeys are the same. Whether you are walking this path alone, with a partner, or alongside a community, your courage matters. No one must go through life feeling alone or unseen.

The Role of a Supportive Partner in Trauma Recovery

In the intricate journey of recovery and healing from trauma, the role of a supportive partner can often be the unsung melody in a survivor's symphony of healing. My journey, penned under the pseudonym Alice Perle in the memoir Resolve, is one such narrative, weaving the resilience of a survivor with the steadfast presence of my husband, Troy (also a pseudonym). Many readers of Resolve have remarked on Troy’s invaluable support throughout my path to healing and growth. This post is dedicated to exploring his perspective and contributions, presented during an event* where he and I took the spotlight to share our story.

Responding to Disclosure with Respect and Stability

Upon my disclosure, Troy’s initial reaction was both pivotal and empowering. We were in our 20s, and despite not possessing the awareness he now carries, he approached my disclosure with respect and acceptance, stating that it was an honour to be trusted with such significant information. He didn’t see the abuse as something to dramatically alter our daily life, but rather as a part of my history that required understanding and empathy.

Understanding Intimacy After Trauma

In the discussion about intimacy and whether the disclosure impacted how we moved forward, Troy candidly shared his early response in navigating the nuanced world of emotional and physical relationships with me. "When Alice disclosed to me, I just saw it as a fact, not as something I needed to take action on, or investigate with her or on her behalf," he expressed. "I just thought how brave she was to share this with me, something that she had been carrying silently. This thing, this wrong thing, happened to someone that I love and is part of my life."

He described life beyond disclosure as an ordinary routine filled with work, paying the bills and juggling family responsibilities, but with an awakening of sensitivity and a deeper understanding of what intimacy meant for both of us. It was a journey of learning, he recalled, a journey highlighted by his observation of my evolving understanding and reconstruction of personal boundaries.

It was early days, and I had a long way to go before I fully opened up about what had happened to me and began taking steps towards finding recovery.

A Partner’s Role in Sharing the Story

Troy’s support didn't stop at acknowledging my past. He encouraged my endeavours to be me in work, in life, as a parent, as an entrepreneur and a leader. In more recent times, he was there every step of the way once I shared with him that I was going to write my story, having once penned a vision to be a voice in the silent landscape of sibling sexual abuse.

Patiently and encouragingly, he witnessed me find my path forward, and backed me as I wrote the first words down on paper. He continued to support me as I wrote, researched, and healed for the next four years, through the dark times of recollection and bright times of finding what I could do about something now that I understood circumstances or myself  better. He didn’t read any of the drafts but once Resolve was published and I recorded the narration for the audiobook, he learned more about me than he may have ever known, hearing my (our) story unfold.

Resolve became a project that symbolises hope and speaks on all aspects of sibling sexual abuse, a subject too often brushed under society’s carpet. Troy’s backing was not just emotional; he stood by every editorial decision I made, including the strategic choice of a pseudonym.

"As far as the pen name, if anything did happen legally, I don't really care," Troy declared. "I’d put everything up, because I see this as probably one of the most important things in Alice’s life. I just need to stand by her, to let Alice go through all the layers she already has and is still navigating – it doesn’t end with writing a book! I’ll back her whatever she decides to do."

Intimacy Coaching: Reclaiming Voice, Body and Joy

This past May was our first time sitting side-by-side on a Zoom call with 20 other participants to speak candidly in a safe forum. Both of us answered questions raised by fellow survivors, parents of survivors, and professionals.

I also invited another important guest to that conversation: Alexandra Shield, the intimacy coach who helped me reclaim my voice, body, and personal joy through her program My Voice, My Body, My Pleasure. In Chapter 11 of Resolve, "The Gift of Self-Love — Forget the Old Programs of Pleasure", I shared how I reached out to Alexandra once I had the epiphany that having been sexualised as a child could impact my adult experience of intimacy. It was an incredibly vulnerable section to write in Resolve, but I knew in my heart that if I’d experienced this, then I’m not the only one.

Piecing that together was tough, and I raged at the idea that my brother had callously taken away my sacred right to feel safe and at ease in moments of intimacy. No one talks to you about this stuff! Yet Alexandra reminded me, "It hasn’t been taken away from you." That’s where our few months of work together began.

Her approach emphasised working at the pace of one’s own heart and nervous system, highlighting the need for a survivor to tread their healing path on their own terms. This was a concept Troy fully embraced. He understood that acts of recovery are gradual and deeply personal. It begins with a readiness for change in ourselves first.

Troy is about us being in this together, knowing that my work around intimacy was needed by me, for me, first. He put no pressure on me to be more than I could be in any moment. He listened to my words and witnessed the transformations, both subtle and pronounced, in my journey back to my body and joy.

Walking Beside a Survivor: Compassion Over Perfection

Walking beside me on the long path from disclosure to releasing Resolve, Troy became not just a supporter but a silent warrior for change. He has stood in fierce protection of our small family, including our three daughters and granddaughter, in solidarity against unspoken norms, and with unwavering faith in justice and healing.

This blog shares just snippets of his affirmations, but they resonate deeply within our lives and the lives of those who read or listen to our story. The grace with which Troy has handled this aspect of our lives reflects a larger societal hope: may spouses, partners, family, friends, and communities realise the profound impact of supportive presence. It is not about "knowing" what to do, but about being there. Being present.

To the Silent Warriors — In All Their Forms

This post honours the partners, spouses, companions, and loved ones who choose presence over perfection. Whether you’re in a heterosexual or same-sex relationship, a co-parent, life partner, close friend, or chosen family member, your support matters.

It also honours those who walk this path without a partner beside them. To the solo survivors, those who chose to walk alone, who never found or never wanted a partner, who have turned inward to find strength, self-compassion, and peace: you, too, are silent warriors. You remind us that healing is, at its core, an inside-out journey. You may not always know the “right” thing to say to yourself or to others. But your willingness to listen, to honour your boundaries, to keep showing up for yourself, that is powerful.

To everyone walking beside survivors of sibling sexual trauma or walking as one: thank you. Your quiet strength, your listening heart, and your commitment to growing through complexity are often unseen, but deeply felt.

May we all continue shaping a world where disclosure is met with dignity, where healing is embraced at one’s own pace, and where no one is forgotten, overlooked, or truly alone.

*The conversation originally took place as part of the Blue Borage Conversation Café series. Learn more at www.blueborage.com.au/conversation-cafe-and-events