​ANONYMOUS, CONFIDENTIAL, TEXT OR VOICE
Parents
You are not alone. Start here for help, healing, and hope.
You are on a journey for which no parent could prepare, stumbling your way along with no signposts and no one to ask for directions. This site won't give you the answers but hopefully it will shed a bit of light in front of you and help you find a few traveling companions.
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Basically every page on this website is relevant for parents, particularly those who are supportive parents of both the child/ren who were irreparably sexually harmed and the child/ren who caused the harm. Some material is aimed mainly at parents whose children are still growing up, but there is plenty that will be helpful for parents whose children are adults.
According to professionals who work with children recovering from sexual abuse, the most important factor in a child's ability to heal and thrive is having at least one parent who believes them, protects them, and supports them through actions such as listening, finding help, respecting their feelings and wishes.
If you are a parent who just found out...
You are not alone. Breathe. You can survive this...
The pages below include information you may need right away.
How do I know if this was normal childhood curiosity or abuse?
Do I need to report to police or child protection (US)?
What can I say or do for the child who was harmed?
What can I say or do for the child who caused the harm?
How do I keep the kids safe and/or separate?
Do I have to choose between my own children?
How do I find therapy for my children and me?
How do I respond to child welfare workers and/or police?
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How do I handle this if my children are already adults?
What do I tell my other children?
What's my role as a step-parent?
How do I keep everyone from finding out?
Why didn't my child tell me (sooner)?
Will my child be a danger to society for life?
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Support Groups
Parents Coping with Sibling Sexual Trauma and Abuse private, moderated Facebook group, must request to join
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Kkccares.org weekly call-in support group for parents of sibling sexual trauma, with children of any age
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Hearts of Healing online support group for parents of sibling sexual abuse on the dailystrength.org platform; not moderated
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Hidden Water Circle support groups for caregivers of children who have experienced or caused sexual harm; based on a restorative justice model, available worldwide with or without participation of the children
Live Helplines: Anonymous, Confidential, Respectful
US (& worldwide by email/chat):
UK:
AU:
From Parents Who Have Been There
Listen
hosted by SSA survivor & psychology researcher Nancy Morris
​A Conversation with Hope Sittler,
parent coping with sibling sexual trauma
A Family Journey Toward Justice and Healing After Sibling Sexual Abuse Disclosure (featuring Heather, John, and Brooke)
Other Podcasts:
BBC File on 4, 14 June 2022
Other Recommended Resources
Books
*see caution below
*A Word of Caution: Many resources for parents of children who have been sexually abused are not written with sibling sexual trauma in mind. They usually assume the person who offended was an adult or someone outside the family. Some of the content might not be appropriate for situations in which your child or teen caused the trauma. There are important differences between children or teens who cause sexual harm and habitual adult offenders. It is appropriate for you to continue to love, support, and be concerned for the welfare of all your children. Continue to explore this site for information specific to sibling sexual trauma and abuse.
Podcasts
hosted by SSA survivor & psychology researcher Nancy Morris
Online Reading
Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Guide for Parents - PDF booklet from the Government of Canada, 2008
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Do Children Sexually Abuse Other Children? - PDF booklet from Stop It Now!, 2007
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What Should I Do After a Child Tells? - Article by Stop It Now!
What Happens Now? Facing Sexual Behavior Problems with Your Child​​ - PDF booklet by National Children's Alliance, 2017
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NCSBY Parent Advisory Panel: Taking Care of You
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For Parents, Just After Disclosure printable, downloadable flyers from 5WAVES, 2024
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When Holidays Are Hazards and Milestones Become Minefields
blogs by Brandy Black, parent cofounder of 5WAVES
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The following publications are aimed at professionals but have plenty of critical information for parents:
The Advocate's Guide: Working With Parents Of Children Who Have Been Sexually Assaulted
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NSPCC Review: Understanding and Responding to Sibling Sexual Trauma and Abuse
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Sibling sexual abuse – Safeguarding Network
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"Dear Stop It Now Helpline..."
Free Webinars, based on actual calls
My Daughter Sexually Abused Her Sister
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My Adult Child Just Disclosed They Were Sexually Abused
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My Son Just Kissed His Younger Sister
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Am I An Abuser Because of My Sexual Behaviors As a Kid?
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Nothing Has Happened...Yet. How Do I Keep It That Way?
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Can I Have Him Arrested? (appropriate responses when children age 12 and under display harmful sexual behavior)