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Parents

 

You are not alone.  Start here for help, healing, and hope.

You are on a journey for which no parent could prepare, stumbling your way along with no signposts and no one to ask for directions.  This site won't give you the answers but hopefully it will shed a bit of light in front of you and help you find a few traveling companions.

If You Are a Parent Who Just Found Out

You are not alone.  Breathe.  You can survive this...

The following pages include information you may need right away.

  

Do I need to report to police or child protection (US)?

How do I know if this was normal childhood curiosity or abuse?

How do I know who to believe?

What can I say or do for the child who was harmed?

What can I say or do for the child who caused the harm?

How do I find therapy for my children and me?

How do I respond to child welfare workers and/or police?

How do I keep the kids separate from each other all of a sudden?

Do we need a lawyer?

 

How do I handle this if my children are already adults?

What's my role as a step-parent?

What's disclosure?

Who should I tell?

How do I keep everyone from finding out?

Why didn't my child tell me (sooner)?

Why did my child do this?

Will my child be a danger to society for life?

Is my child a pedophile?

 

My world is upside down. Am I going crazy?

How do I get through the day?

How do I handle being so terrified all the time?

 

Basically every page on this website is relevant for parents, particularly those who are supportive parents of both the child/ren who were harmed and the child/ren who caused the harm. Some material is aimed mainly at parents whose children are still growing up, but there is plenty that will be helpful for parents whose children are adults.  

According to professionals who work with children recovering from sexual abuse, the most important factor in a child's ability to heal and thrive is having at least one parent who believes them, protects them, and supports them through actions such as listening, finding help, respecting their feelings and wishes.

Help for Parents Outside This Site

A Mother's Perspective: Siblings Too Podcast, Conversation with Hope Sittler, a Parent Coping with Siblings Sexual Trauma, Part I (39 min) and Part II (36 min)

A Therapist Explains the Healing Process for the Whole Family: Siblings Too Podcast: A Family's Healing Journey  and Offenders, Survivors, and their Families with Brad Watts, LPC, CSOTP (50 min)

An anonymous mother shares her journey...

What the First Year Felt Like for Me
Letter to Myself, Two Years Later

Information

Book: Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Guide for Confronting America's Silent Epidemic Brad Watts, LPC, CSOTP

Podcast: #SiblingsToo Nancy Morris MSc Applied Psychology

Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Guide for Parents - Canada.ca

 

Do Children Sexually Abuse Other Children?

 

Help for Parents of Children Who Have Been Sexually Abused by Family Members | RAINN

 

What Happens Now? Facing Sexual Behavior Problems with Your Child

Mothers of Sexually Abused Children comprehensive website

Prevention

Tips for Parents from 5Waves.org

Resource List for Parents from 5Waves.org

Support Groups

Facebook: Parents Coping with Sibling Sexual Trauma and Abuse (private group, must request to join)

Kkccares.org weekly call-in support group for parents of sibling sexual abuse, inc. parents whose children are now adults

Hearts of Healing online support group for parents of sibling sexual abuse on the dailystrength.org platform 

The following publications are aimed at professionals but have plenty of critical information for parents:

The Advocate's Guide: Working With Parents Of Children Who Have Been Sexually Assaulted 

Sibling sexual abuse – Safeguarding Network

Sibling sexual abuse: A knowledge and practice overview 
When a child is sexually abused by another child or a sibling | Child Safety Practice Manual

Two mothers share their stories of hope and healing in this webinar for professionals (parents' stories at 25:00-45:00, webinar can be accessed after free registration), National Child Traumatic Stress Network

Stop It Now! Webinars

Dear Stop It Now Helpline... (all are actual questions, used with permission, webinars include discussion with Stop It Now staff and guest experts)

My Daughter Sexually Abused Her Sister

Is My Child a Pedophile?

My Adult Child Just Disclosed They Were Sexually Abused

My Son Just Kissed His Younger Sister

Am I An Abuser Because of My Sexual Behaviors As a Kid?

Nothing Has Happened...Yet.  How Do I Keep It That Way?

Can I Have Him Arrested? (appropriate responses when children age 12 and under display harmful sexual behavior)