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Am I a Monster?

“Am I a monster?”


It’s a question that people who have crossed another person’s sexual boundaries often ask themselves.  It may be your greatest fear.  You might have already had someone else call you a monster.  


Answer: You are not a monster.


How can someone who doesn’t know me be so sure?

  • You came to this site.  

  • You are aware that what you did was wrong.

  • You care about the harm you have caused.

  • You feel remorse--you know this is not who you want to be.

  • You are looking for help. Start here to find it.


You are more than the worst thing you have ever done.


You are a full human.  

  • You can make choices

  • You are responsible for your actions--past, present, and future

  • You deserve respect

  • You deserve support

  • You deserve to be safe

  • You deserve healthy human relationships


If you are bothered by something you did when you were younger and do not continue in the present, remember:

  • You are not the person you were

  • You have grown and matured

  • You have shown your ability to make better choices

  • You can still act to take responsibility for what you did in the past


If you’re worried about your current behavior, thoughts, or online habits, blog answers Max: I hurt someone sexually.  Am I a monster? blog answers a 14 year old: I was abused but now I'm afraid I'm abusing other kids.

Watch the Stop It Now! Webinar: Am I an abuser because of my sexual behaviors as a kid?

If you’re not sure whether you should be concerned: 

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