One Word

"I was so careful--I didn't allow sleepovers at anyone else's house, I didn't give them phones, I didn't hire babysitters...but my daughter was sexually violated in the 'safety' of her own bedroom. I had no idea this could happen between two sisters."

“The police didn’t file a report, because it was within the family, and they were ‘just kids’.”

Sibling sexual trauma and abuse lie far outside the usual paradigms of child sexual abuse, as far from "stranger danger" as we can get. It happens in the home, within the family, among children (Yates & Allardyce, 2023). Physical and emotional sibling abuse lie outside the familiar domestic violence image of a woman with a black eye. But a child whose sibling leaves bruises and laughs at them is just as much a victim of violence within the home.

If we don't name it, no one will fill in the blanks on their own. No one will think of “siblings”.

• Body safety messages that don’t name sibling touch won’t prevent unwanted sexual touch or physical wounds.

• Parents may have a hard time recognizing the signs of abusive sexual behavior toward a sibling, if they have never heard anyone link the concept of “siblings” with the concept of “abuse”.

• Survivors will think they are the only person this has ever happened to, and keep it to themselves.

• Systems won’t be prepared to respond to something they’ve never named or quantified. (See past blog, A Disaster with No Name) 

  
  

And that’s what makes one word–sibling–so powerful. 

We need to create bespoke response systems, therapeutic resources, longitudinal research and more, to fully address sibling sexual trauma and abuse. But let’s not miss what we can do right now, with the resources, people and organizations that already exist. Sometimes, all we have to do is put the word “sibling” in a sentence, or add a checkbox to a form. For a previously hidden tragedy, this creates the awareness that enables prevention, detection, and action. It creates the data needed to prepare systems to respond and services that are appropriate for this unique, family-wide trauma.

As a bonus, the word “sibling” is gender-inclusive. Which is vitally important, because the world also needs to recognize that sibling abuse can happen among children of any gender combination. 

What might adding One Word look like? It could be as simple as:

• Parents: "No one should touch you in a way that feels yucky or uncomfortable. Not your teachers, not your friends, not your Nana, not your siblings!" (or "sister" or "brother")

  
  

• Prevention education: "90% of child sexual abuse is committed by someone the child knows--a coach, a grandparent, a sibling."

  
  

• Mandatory reporter training: "If a child describes injury or inappropriate touch by another child--a babysitter, a classmate, a sibling--you must report it within 24 hours."

  
  

• Research, policing, child protection: "I noticed we don't have a checkbox for "sibling" in the perpetrator list. Could we add that?

  
  

• Medical, mental health screening: "Did you ever feel unsafe around any of your family members as a child--parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings?" 

  
  

One therapist who added the last question to his intake form had four clients mention sibling sexual abuse in their childhood, in the first month alone. 

The first and only population-wide survey measuring the prevalence of sibling sexual abuse didn't come from a dedicated study or a separate grant. It came from adding one word--one checkbox--to an already-funded nationwide survey on child sexual abuse in Australia.

Where can you add One Word?

Mathews et al; Child sexual abuse by different classes and types of perpetrator: Prevalence and trends from an Australian national survey, Child Abuse & Neglect, 2024

The One Word initiative is a collaboration between 5WAVES and SSTA Aware. Learn more at 5waves.org/one word.